Variant Family Forms and Life Styles: Rejection of the Traditional Nuclear Family

Abstract

We all live by images that are in part myths. The mythical quality of our images of family life stems from two sources. First, the image is idealized and thus never completely attainable; and secondly, the image is partially fictive, thus never exactly representative of reality. Myths are used to guide, judge, and rationalize behavior. Daily life never completely corresponds to the myths one holds; there are only degrees of approximation. The irony is that it is as impossible to live without myths as it is to live with them. Thus, we should not expect to eliminate myths entirely; rather, prevalent myths should be abandoned and replaced with new ones at those points in history when new circumstances and events render too great a breach between approximation and attainment, when actual behavior deviates too far from prevalent myths, and when new views of reality seem more relevant, appropriate, and explanatory for our time. The recent emergence of experimental variant family forms suggests that we have arrived at such a point in history. The myth of the idealized nuclear family has become untenable for an undetermined proportion of our society, including both those individuals living in nuclear families and those opting for experimental variant family forms. Some hold to the idealized image but, uncomfortable with the behavior expectations it carries, feel guilty or demeaned by their behavior and actions and in somie cases live clandestine second lives. Others speak out against this particular myth and are more candid and

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