When Father Kills Mother : Guiding Children Through Trauma and Grief

Abstract

Children bereaved by the death of one parent (almost always the mother) at the hands of the other, in effect lose them both as the father is usually arrested soon after the killing or occasionally is dead by his own hand. The children are then uprooted. Almost inevitably they lose their home and, quite often, access to all personal possessions. School work, familiar routine and important friendships are all disrupted. Bereavement is but part of the process and when children are dislocated and traumatised in this way it is not possible for them to mourn their loss. To date, there has been little literature available about such tragedies and the implications for everyone concerned in the future of the affected child. Black, Harris Hendriks and Kaplan all have special experience of treating such children. In When Father Kills Mother they discuss the importance of debriefing children immediately after they gave witnessed violence and what therapeutic help will be of most value to both the children and their carers. They also examine the legal aspect of the tragedy, not only the civil rights of children and their role as witnesses, but the role of social workers, guardians and courts as decision makers for the children. Questions such as where the children should live, how their future should be planned, whether and how often they should see their fathers in prison, and whether it should ever be ethically right that a parent who has killed resume care the the children, are all considered from the child's point of view.

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