“When All is Said and Done”

Abstract

This article reports on a qualitative study of 18 young adults, aged 18 to 26, who had been subject children in contested custody and access proceedings. The findings reported here relate specifically to respondents' perceptions of the impact of their parents' divorce and the subsequent proceedings on their current relationships with their parents and on their own approach to relationships. Their current relationships with parents encompassed a range of patterns, including: continuing positive relationships with both parents, an improved relationship with a previously non-preferred parent, and an estranged relationship with one parent. All were determined not to repeat their parents' pattern of divorce and reported various strategies to achieve this, including: not rushing into relationships, developing effective relationships skills, developing a strong sense of being their own person, whether or not in a relationship, and ensuring financial security prior to marriage and having children.

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