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Abstract Lesbians and gay men, whether seeking child custody or adoption, continue to be marginalized by the general public and legal system. This article explores the large body of research documenting that same‐sex couples are as effective as parents as straight couples. However, the judiciary system still disapproves of same‐sex couples in relation to adoption and custody of children. An alternative approach to avoid the courts and uphold the dignity of the family is mediation. The author analyzes how mediation is used in the gay community and, from a personal perspective, discusses his upbringing by a gay couple and how, as a teenager, he was caught in a custody dispute.
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