This article takes femme/FTM sexual relationships as a point of departure to consider gender itself as a form of labor, or to illustrate how gender subjectivities are constituted by various labors required of, and provided by, intimate others. Analysis focuses on the work that women do in relationships with transgendered men, specifically the work that they do to validate and celebrate their partners’ masculinity. ‘Gender labor’ extends beyond the work people do to achieve our own gender coherence; it also describes emotional, physical, and sexual care-taking efforts aimed at suspending self-focus and helping others achieve the varied forms of gender recognition they long for. Though gender labor is both given and received by all people, the author argues that it weighs down most heavily on feminine subjects, the people for whom caring, sex and other ‘labors of love’ are naturalized, expected or forced.
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