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We all know that the process of reviewing scientific papers, research proposals, or books is a royal pain for everybody. The reviewers have better things to do, the editors are in a perennial state of nervous collapse trying to get reviews back in time, and the reviewees risk heart attacks each time they scan the obviously unfair reviews of their work. The reviewing of research proposals is particularly daunting because money, often in large amounts, is involved. In fact, it is so daunting that it has attracted the Congressional eye (Science, 1992, vol. 156, p. 959). To placate Congress and alleviate internal tensions within the granting agencies, I have proposed the adoption of the “Absolute Review System” (ARS). In this system, the principal investigator (P.I.) does the reviewing. As I discussed in a recent article in the Journal of Irreproducible Results (1992, vol. 37, p. 12), the advantages are colossal.
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