Dating couples' disagreements over the desired level of sexual intimacy

Abstract

Sixty-seven female and 54 male college students participated in a study of sexual disagreements in which the man desired to engage in a higher level of sexual activity than did the woman. Participants kept an ongoing record of dates and disagreements and provided descriptive information about some of these. We had three goals: (a) to determine how frequently this type of disagreement occurs in dating relationships; (b) to determine the types and frequencies of the various strategies that men use when their partner indicates that she is unwilling to engage in a particular sexual activity; and (c) to describe the characteristics of disagreement situations and relate these to male compliance with the woman's refusal. One or more disagreements were reported by 47% of participants, but disagreements occurred on only 7% of reported dates. In 61% of the disagreement situations, the man complied with the woman's refusal without question. Verbal and/or physical coercion was reported in 25% of the disagreement situations. These results suggest that although sexual coercion is a part of some dating relationships, it does not characterize our dating system to the degree suggested by Clark and Lewis (1977). Characteristics of the disagreement situation and their relationship to male compliance are reported and discussed.

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