Relationally Bare/Bear

Abstract

This article is an autoethnographic account of the intricacies surrounding relational dissolution. In tracing moments of a four-year relationship, the author critically and reflexively examines his identity as a gay Bear, acknowledging how his culturally stigmatized hairy and husky body challenged his ability to love. Emphasizing the demanding and unending negotiations of body image, the narratives herein reveal how losing weight allowed the author to re-story the potential of his body, marking a shift in sexual desire for himself and other men. While this article paints a relationship’s end, it also captures a beginning—of what it means to seek a communicatively, emotionally, and physically fulfilling intimacy.

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