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A celebrated biographical portrait of David Hume the philosopher was penned by the young Irish aristocrat James Caulfeild, later first earl of Charlemont. Caulfeild met Hume in 1748 at Turin, where he was sought out by visitors as a possessor of what Hume himself (referring to Jean-Jacques Rousseau, his mistress, and his dog) called “a name and reputation in the world.”2 Caulfeild’s account has been repeatedly quoted and extensively edited by biographers of both men. It is worth quoting again and at length as it appears in the original manuscript: [I]t may be necessary that I shou’d in a few words delineate, as far as I am able, the Portraiture of this Remarkable Personage. Nature, I believe, never yet formed any Man more unlike his real Character than David Hume. What added greatly to the natural Awkwardness of Hume was his wearing an Uniform, which He wore like a Grocer of the Trained Bands. Sinclair was a Lieutenant General and was sent to the Courts of Vienna and Turin as a military Envoy to see that their Quota of Troops was furnished by the Austrians and Piedmontoise. It was therefore thought necessary that his Secretary should appear to be an Officer, and poor Hume was accordingly disguised in Scarlet, while his broad face was rendered still broader by a smart Wig a la militaire…. The Powers of Physiognomy were baffled by his Countenance, neither cou’d the most skillful in that Science pretend to discover the smallest Trace of the Faculties of his Mind in the unmeaning Features of his Visage. His Face was broad and fat, his Mouth wide, and without any other Expression than that of Imbecility. His eyes vacant and spiritless, and the Corpulence of his whole Person was far better fitted to communicate the Idea of a Turtle-eating Alderman than of a refined Philosopher. His Speech in English was rendered ridiculous by the broadest and most vulgar Scottish Accent, and his French was, if possible, still more laughable. So that Wisdom, most certainly, never before issued from such a Mouth, or disguised herself in so uncouth a Garb. Thus, as We read, the Oracles of old were often delivered by a Stock or Stone. Tho’ now near fifty years old He was however strong and healthy, but his Health and Strength, far from being advantageous to his Figure, instead of manly Comeliness, had only the Appearance of heavy Clumsiness and course Rusticity.
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