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This study explores the subjective experience of gay men growing older as middle-aged men with consideration of the effects of sexual orientation and the HIV epidemic on adult development. Thirty gay men between the ages of 40 and 51 were assessed with a semi-structured interview and quantitative measures to describe the experience of aging, current psychological adjustment, and outlook towards the future. A phenomenological approach was used to describe self-appraisals of becoming older and related psychological themes; quantitative assessments were administered to enhance the validity of qualitative data analysis. Most men did not report psychological distress associated with entering middle age but many noted an absence of socially-defined markers to delineate the aging process. The extent to which men experienced a sense of coherence in reviewing their life histories and a sense of reconciliation in considering past difficulties was related to psychological adjustment and attitudes towards growing older. In the context of gay men's lives, coherence and reconciliation may have particular importance in understanding how gay identity is experienced across the lifespan and may serve as a bridge between theories of homosexual identity formation and more universal descriptions of adult development.
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