Getting F****d in Puerto Rico: Metaphoric Provocations and Queer Activist Interventions

Abstract

Allow me to start with a joke: Four Puerto Ricans are sitting in a bar discussing the political landscape of the island and an upcoming plebiscite. The first states, “I’m voting for statehood, we might as well become a state and get all the benefits that come with it.” Another responds, emphatically, “No, we should vote to keep the status quo, Estado Libre y Asociado . I don’t to want to be a gringo and speak English.” The third stands up and says, “I’m voting for the Independentistas . We may starve to death, but we will starve with dignity.” Finally the fourth reveler stands up and says, “I’m voting for the Homosexual Party. If I’m going to be fucked up the ass, I want it to be done by professionals.” 1 While this joke may capture the raucous spirit of “none of the above” as the inescapable impossibility that defines contemporary Puerto Rican electoral politics, it also reflects the uneasy relationship between the nation and its homosexuals. Embedded in the humor are epistemologies that define sodomy as abject, functioning symbolically to subjugate those who spread their ass cheeks for politics as usual, and a queer alternative as inherently absurd, a Homosexual Party serving as the ultimate in ludicrous political possibilities. Recently debates on both the island and the mainland on the constitutionality of “sodomy laws” have triangulated issues of Puerto Rican electoral politics, sexual and colonial penetrations, and queer activism to create new opportunities for activist and metaphoric interventions into the meaning of “getting fucked” in Puerto Rico. 2 These keywords were added by machine and not by the authors. This process is experimental and the keywords may be updated as the learning algorithm improves.

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