The Condensed Courtship Clock: How Elite Women Manage Self-development and Marriage Ideals

Abstract

As elite, heterosexual women delay marriage, complete higher education, and pursue high-status careers, are they able to de-center the other-oriented roles of wife and mother in their lives? Using in-depth interviews with 33 single, college-educated women, the authors examine how elite women balance expectations for self-development and family formation. Participants constructed a timeline with three phases: the self-development phase, the readiness moment, and the push to partner. Women’s initial focus on self-development ends with a shift toward feeling ready to search for a spouse. Classed norms for family formation and a perceived biological deadline for childbearing leave a narrow window to achieve family goals. The authors call this narrow window the condensed courtship clock. The clock results in self-scrutiny and third-party policing for women who are off schedule. The class advantages that allow elite women to engage in concerted self-development after college come with intense classed and gendered expectations for family formation.

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