Love Them and Hate Them: The Developmental Appropriateness of Ambivalence in the Adolescent Sibling Relationship

Abstract

Abstract The quality of sibling relationships has important implications for each sibling’s development, and not always in the expected ways, because both conflict and intimacy are associated with both positive and negative developmental outcomes. Additionally, these relationship qualities do not occur in isolation since sibling relationships are known as the quintessential love–hate relationship. The ambivalence (i.e., coexistence of positive and negative feelings) siblings experience toward one another during childhood and adolescence and the prevalence of this feeling make the sibling relationship unique. Ambivalence in the sibling relationship during adolescence is developmentally appropriate and may benefit individuals throughout life. In this article, we argue that adolescence is the tipping point in the sibling relationship that sets the stage for how healthy and engaged, or distant and uninvolved, relationships with siblings become in adulthood.

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