Parental Responses to Coming out by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Pansexual, or Two‐Spirited People across Three Age Cohorts

Diana D. van Bergen · Bianca D. M. Wilson · Stephen T. Russell · Allegra Raboff Gordon · Esther Davida Rothblum

90 citations0/0 files storedJournal of Marriage and the Family

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LGBTQ Health, Identity, and Policy Gender and Feminist Studies Gender, Sexuality, and Education

Abstract

OBJECTIVE: The study aimed to better understand the complexities of parental responses to coming out in the narratives from Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Pansexual, or Two-Spirited (LGBQ+) individuals, and to examine whether those from recent cohorts experience a different parental response than those in older cohorts. BACKGROUND: Sexual minorities come out at younger ages today than in past decades, and coming out to parents is a major part of the identification process. METHOD: Interview excerpts of 155 US lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or two-spirited (LGBQ+) respondents were analyzed with a qualitative thematic analysis and with basic quantitative methods. The sample consisted of 61 interviewees in a young cohort (ages 18-25), 65 in a middle cohort (ages 35-42), and 29 in an older cohort (ages 52-59), in six ethnic/racial groups. RESULTS: Themes based on LGBQ+ people's accounts indicated that parental responses varied with the degree of their a priori knowledge of respondents' sexual identities (ranging from suspicion or certainty to surprise). Parental appraisal was either lacking, negative, mixed, or positive with accompanying silent, invalidating, ambivalent, and validating responses, respectively. Validating responses from parents were more often found in the youngest cohort, but invalidating responses were frequent across all cohorts. LGBQ+ people in the oldest cohort were more inclined to accept their parents being noncommunicative about sexuality in general and also about sexual diversity. CONCLUSION: It is too early to state that coming out to parents has become easier. Harmony in the parent-child relationship after coming out and open communication about sexual identities is regarded as desirable and yet it remains elusive for many LGBQ+ people.

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References

2002Individualization: Institutionalized Individualism and its Social and Political Consequences 2002A Purposeful Approach to the Constant Comparative Method in the Analysis of Qualitative Interviews 1984Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality 1979Homosexual Identity Formation:2010Family Acceptance in Adolescence and the Health of LGBT Young Adults 1982Developmental Stages of the Coming Out Process 1998Lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth and their families: Disclosure of sexual orientation and its consequences.2004The Parental "Acceptance-Rejection Syndrome": Universal Correlates of Perceived Rejection.

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2020The Coming-Out Process in Family, Social, and Religious Contexts Among Young, Middle, and Older Italian LGBQ+ Adults

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