Heightened attention to police brutality has created momentum for alternative, community-based responses to violence, including that inflicted by an intimate partner. But to build effective alternatives, we must know what survivors already do in moments of acute danger when they do not call the police. This study sought to explore these moments from an ecological perspective. Using a qualitative descriptive methodology, we conducted 25 interviews with a diverse sample of intimate partner violence (IPV) survivors. Each described the first, the worst, and the most recent IPV incident, whom they reached out to and why, the outcomes of their help-seeking, and the individual, interpersonal, and psychosocial influences on the process. Even in the face of severe violence, what participants most wanted was someone who would listen without judgment. Direct interpersonal factors that influenced their help-seeking included their partner's controlling behavior, as well as their network members' capacities, perspectives on IPV, and feelings about the survivor. Broader influential factors included the radiating effects of IPV and other forms of trauma in survivors' networks. Participants offered recommendations on how domestic violence (DV) programs could both strengthen survivors' networks and provide them with targeted community support in moments of grave danger. As we continue to develop community-based alternatives to police intervention, DV programs have a critical opportunity to build on survivors' own recommendations. This process must address the ongoing effects of trauma that hamper the ability of so many network members to support survivors in crisis.
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