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Among men, gender and views about violence contribute to how men, and others, identify and respond to violence and related outcomes. Despite this, little is known about men’s perspectives regarding gender/masculinities and cumulative lifetime violence (CLV) exposure. Using the qualitative method of Interpretative description, the complex relationship between gender and violence for men who have experienced CLV was explored. Interviews with thirty-two men who experienced CLV revealed a complex interrelation between masculinity and violence (MV interconnectedness). This intricate connection is difficult to separate due to persistent normalization and acceptance of violence. Because violence is one way that men live up to pressure to ‘be a man,’ MV interconnectedness positively contributes to men’s sense of self. However, MV interconnectedness also contributes to significant harm. The contradictory nature of MV interconnectedness and the tension that arises when men contemplate the link between gender and violence was labelled ‘the paradox’. As men grapple with the paradox, and the ways that gender and violence have influenced their lives, they are able to move toward disconnecting violence from how they define themselves as men. The paradox is a significant addition to the understanding of how men may reject the narrative that masculinity and violence are interconnected. MV Interconnectedness demonstrates that the link between masculinity and violence perpetration is not straightforward. Normalization and acceptance of violence calls for efforts to counteract the messages and pressures boys and men receive that influence their behaviour.
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