Abstract The phenomenon of ostracism has received considerable empirical attention in the last 15 years, in part because of a revitalized interest in the importance of belonging for human social behavior. I present a temporal model that describes and predicts processes and responses at three stages of reactions to ostracism: (a) reflexive, (b) reflective, and (c) resignation. The reflexive pain response triggers threats to four fundamental needs and directs the individual's attention to reflect on the meaning and importance of the ostracism episode, leading to coping responses that serve to fortify the threatened need(s). Persistent exposure to ostracism over time depletes the resources necessary to motivate the individual to fortify threatened needs, thus leading eventually to resignation, alienation, helplessness, and depression. I conclude with a call for more research, especially on the effects of ostracism on groups, and on possible buffering mechanisms that reduce the long‐term negative consequences of ostracism.
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