Modeling and Reworking Childhood Experiences: Involved Fathers' Representations of Being Parented and of Parenting a Preschool Child

Abstract

We examine intergenerational parenting representations of 49 highly educated, married fathers from dual career families who shared childrearing with their wives. Responding to the Parent Attachment Interview, the men discussed similarities and differences between their remembered childhood relationships with mother and father and their current relationship with a preschool son ( N = 27) or daughter ( N = 22). Rather than globally identifying with one parent (whether father or mother), a relatively high percentage of the men were selective in the positive qualities they modeled and the disappointing qualities they rejected in either or both parents. Overall, they described more intergenerational differences (reworking of the remembered relationships from childhood) than similarities (modeling themselves after their parents). Concerning similarities, men in our study were much more likely to adopt their mothers than their fathers as influential models with respect to affection/attachment/communication and, to a slightly lesser extent, discipline practices. In the domain of joint father–child activities, the percentage of men who saw themselves as similar to their fathers was higher. Findings are discussed from the perspective of attachment theory and societal change in fatherhood ideals. The notion that parent–child relationship patterns and representations are transmitted across generations has a long history in the clinical literature on child maltreatment and parental depression. In an influential synthesis of this literature, Belsky (1984; p. 83) hypothesized that “determinants of parenting highlighted by child abuse research might also play a role influencing parenting that falls within the normal range of functioning.”

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