Authenticity and positivity strivings in marriage and courtship.

William B. Swann · Chris De La Ronde · J. Gregory Hixon

550 citations0/0 files storedJournal of Personality and Social Psychology

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Attachment and Relationship Dynamics Social and Intergroup Psychology Personality Traits and Psychology

Abstract

We proposed that married persons would want their spouses to see them as they saw themselves but that dating persons would want their relationship partners to evaluate them favorably. A survey of 176 married and dating couples tested these predictions. Just as married persons were most intimate with spouses whose evaluations verified their self-views, dating persons were most intimate with partners who evaluated them favorably. For married people with negative self-views, then, intimacy increased as their spouses evaluated them more negatively. Marriage apparently precipitates a shift from a desire for positive evaluations to a desire for self-verifying evaluations.

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References

1956The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life.2017A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance 1969The Handbook of Social Psychology 2015Mind, Self, and Society 1988Illusion and well-being: A social psychological perspective on mental health.1980Unrealistic optimism about future life events.2017Human Nature and the Social Order 1972The attraction paradigm

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2002A Theory of Self-Esteem 2009Identity fusion: The interplay of personal and social identities in extreme group behavior.2000Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: How perceived regard regulates attachment processes.1996The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: Love is not blind, but prescient.2001The connubial crucible: Newlywed years as predictors of marital delight, distress, and divorce.2004Finding Value in Diversity: Verification of Personal and Social Self-Views in Diverse Groups

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