Normal Queers: Straight Parents Respond to Their Children's “Coming Out”

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Gender and Feminist Studies LGBTQ Health, Identity, and Policy Gender, Sexuality, and Education

Abstract

This article explores how normative understandings of gender, family, and sexuality provide the foundation for stigma, an avenue out of deviance, and the means by which stigma is perpetuated. Using participant‐observation and interview data from a support group for families of lesbian women and gay men, I examine the destigmatizing identity work with which straight parents responded to their children's lesbian and gay identities. The parents' reliance on conventional understandings of gender, sexuality, and parenting invoked and affirmed heteronormative conceptions of normalcy. This redrawing—and not fundamentally challenging—of the lines defining sexual normalcy left intact systemic logics supporting heterosexist sexual hierarchies.

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1969Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity 2020Modernity and Self-Identity: Self and Society in the Late Modern Age 1971Symbolic Interactionism: Perspective and Method.1986Frame Alignment Processes, Micromobilization, and Movement Participation 1971Analyzing social settings : a guide to qualitative observation and analysis 1992Modernity and self-identity: self and society in the late modern age 2012The History of Sexuality: An Introduction 1980Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence

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2009"We are God's Children, Y'All:" Race, Gender, and Sexuality in Lesbian- and Gay-Affirming Congregations 2009‘The other kind of coming out’2019Parental reactions to transgender and gender diverse children: A literature review 2015Getting “Bi” in the Family: Bisexual People's Disclosure Experiences 2020Parental Responses to Coming out by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Pansexual, or Two‐Spirited People across Three Age Cohorts

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