Counseling Older Men

Abstract

As men grow older, they face multiple and often dramatic changes. How shall they respond? Will they become overwhelmed by the inevitable losses of aging and fall into a despair? This chapter reviews ways a counselor can help an older man address some these changes by focusing on three basic processes: relating (developing an attuned and empathic relationship with him-an experience he may find novel), relinquishing (helping him identify and mourn the unavoidable losses of his aging), and reinventing (supporting his attempts to imagine and pursue the development of a new version of himself). For generations, U.S. men have organized their lives around three roles: preparing for work, going to work, and retiring from work. That model is changing rapidly. More and more, men in their 50s to 70s are moving into a new Third Age-not retirement but reinvention.

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